Hi Parents!
Previously, I blogged about how Isaac was coping in school for the first week and how we dealt with it ( the cries during morning drop off, the separation anxiety and how he copes in school with all the independent learning). In this blog, I am going to be sharing my real struggles that are beyond morning drop offs. Read on to find out more!
MORNING DROP OFFs
This week, we have entered the 8th week of him being in school and I would say that it has become much easier during drop offs, except for Mondays or after a long PH. He is still holding on to his little elephant soft toys ( we named it 'trunkie') everytime he goes to school and indeed it brings so much comfort to him.
Another thing that we noticed over the past few weeks is when both boys are up in the morning, we have established a routine - to wash them up, brush teeth, change into uniforms, have breakfast, take vitamins and supplements, paste mozzie repellent/ happy nose/ and spray biokiddie , wear shoes and off we go to school. Same routine every day over the weekdays.
One great tip that I would share is to not drag their waiting time to go to school, because I realised that the moment they are all hyped up and set to go to school and I am still busy preparing their school bags etc, they would turn impatient, cranky and sometimes refused to go to school altogether. I give myself 10 mins max to get myself ready to send them to school.
Therefore, I always make it a habit to pack their bags the night before so the next morning would be chop chop! It works for us and the boys every single time.
I also try my best to keep hyping them up with words like ,"WOW! today is a sunny day! I think Teacher Lala will provide many fun activities in school!"
or "Callum, today you have Tiny Tots class, I think Coach Emma will be coming early with all your favourite blue soccer balls! Are you excited to go for Tiny Tots?"
PICK UP
Usually we will pick up the boys between 5-5.30 pm. Pick up time is less of a battle because they might feel more excited to know that they are going home. But the real war starts the moment they reach home. The moment they step into the house, they start to throw tantrums, have meltdowns, refuse to shower, refuse to have dinner, and just lying on the floor crying and begging to watch their fav tv shows. This happens to me ALOT! and it is happening to both boys simultaneously.
I read somewhere that kids' brains are hard wired to be more conscious of the surrounding when they are out of their comfort zones (ie homes) and they tend to behave well in school. Sometimes, they stifled their feelings (they are not being themselves- which makes so much sense because in school, the teachers feedback that they are such angels)
However, the moment they reach home, they turn into little monsters. They have to let it all out. Pent up feelings, yes!
I believe many parents can relate with me. If you are in the same boat, try to keep your composure. You are not alone.
If your LOs are having post-school meltdown, let them cry it all out. I did that most of the time. It may take them 5-10 mins to release the feelings and finally calm down (some will take longer). The moment you see that they have calmed down a little, talk to them.
I used to raise my voice, because I myself felt frustrated the moment they came home and cried for this and that but over the time, I realised, the more I raised my voice, the louder they got. It simple doesn’t solve the problem.
Sometimes, I chose to keep quiet but it didn't work for us either. Callum hates it when I keep quiet. He would say ,"I don't want mummy to keep quiet, I want mummy to talk."
So it is a losing battle for both of us. The best bet is to talk, ask them what they want and finally come to a negotiation.
E.g:
Mummy: "OK Callum, you done crying already? Now you tell mummy what do you want to do?"
Callum: " I want to watch Peppa Pig. I don't want to eat dinner"
Mummy: " OK, mummy will let you watch your Peppa Pig but I think the Peppa Pig wants to eat dinner before meeting you. So shall we eat dinner first before meeting the Peppa Pig? Then you will have energy to watch TV. Do you want to sit on a high chair or normal table with mummy?"
The moment you give them a choice, they would automatically choose the options and you are halfway there!
(Something like that)
To end this blog, I know some parents whose LOs are newly enrolled to school or still struggling during morning drop offs or even after pick up. Our LOs are displaying normal behaviour - being who they are. There are times when, in difficult and tricky situations, strategic movements and talking it out make a great choice so that we can come to negotiations and lesser power struggles. It’s definitely not easy but it is one of the best ways to deal with this phase of growing up.
I hope this sharing helps parents who are going through the same phase and this too shall pass.
Let's jia you together!
With Love ❤️,
Jane
